Whispered lies

A lie is a fickle creature. It slips past the lips quickly and whirls and twists its way through the thoughts of others.

Before long, the lie gets hungry and has to be fed. The only way to keep it from coming undone is to nourish it with another lie...and another. It will become temporarily sedated for days, perhaps weeks. Months. Years.

The thing about a lie, is that it cannot be killed with anything but the truth. Honesty can crush even the strongest of lies.

Lies are smart though...they have developed a nearly impenetrable shield. A weapon against destruction. And that weapon is fear. Fear easily chases the truth so far away that is is no longer threatening to the lie.

Fear and falsehoods are all too often triumphant over the truth. Unless the lie is never shared, never whispered from one to another...that would be the safest thing...

Life and Chess Part 1. The game

Living with 2 brothers allowed me to participate in multiple forms of strategic games...both fantasy and reality. Early in their lives, I was proud to be able to outsmart them and was usually victorious in the games we played.  As they grew older it was necessary to put significantly more thought into the moves I made. Before long I had to admit defeat to their superior ability to see the possible choices I might make and plan for them in advance.

Strategy has always been a fascinating subject to me. So simple in it's definition - "The art of planning and directing overall military operations and movements in a war or battle"...and yet the number of possible moves and outcomes are so overwhelming it is almost unfathomable. 

Chess is one game that has a seemingly endless selection of decisions, leading to an equally endless list of outcomes. Chess is a game that takes concentration, thought and strategy to play.

 Alertness is key in keeping your pieces safe, and preventing your opponent from putting your king in check.

It occurred to me at some point (probably after losing the 100th game to one of my brothers), that life, is very similar to chess in many of it's entities. Each and every move you make not only affects you, but also has the potential to change the life of all the people (pieces) around you. Every decision, whether spur of the moment or well thought out, ultimately affects the outcome of the game.

There are multiple instances (games) you will have to navigate, all with infinite amounts of possible endings. The number of games (instances) you play, make up your lifespan.

The realization of the importance of strategy is liberating, the knowledge of how many ways you can fail is daunting. Hopefully, as in chess, we can learn from life's mistakes and chose a different move next time.

Humbling Connection

Over the past several weeks I have become tangled in an emotional state of confusion.

It seems that I am in a daily battle between tears and elation over the meaning of my various relationships. It amazes me that so many levels exist in a relationship. And baffles me how many of those levels one can stand on simultaneously.

I feel I have been blessed with the ability to form human connections on a whim. However, with every blessing and strength, comes a mirroring weakness. The shadow in my mirror is that the majority of my connection seem to remain superficial. Temporary. Disposable.
The absence of connection is something I pine over...and yet...when the bind weakens, it is not commonly missed.

Recently though, I find myself linked in a bond stronger than any connection I imagined I would have the pleasure of experiencing in my lifetime. It has humbled me. Distracted me. Rendered me delightfully abashed.

I cannot help but stand in wonderment at the reason for our meeting. The complication and simplicity are the yin and yang which keeps my head reeling almost without rest.

Heart Questions

When i was young, my mother instilled in me that is is not important that one is able to retain a vast amount of  information to memory. Instead, she would say, "learn how to find the information you desire and you will never be lacking in whit, wisdom, or knowledge".

I learned quickly how to use a phone book, dictionary, and library in order to obtain answers for the questions lingering outside my field of expertise.

What my mother failed to share with me, perhaps because she knew (as mothers usually do) that I would need to learn on my own, is that far too often the answer to the most important of questions cannot be found in one concrete form.

So many things we wonder about cannot be brought to clarity without trial and error. Passage of time. And this, to me, seems unfair.

One would think that with all the knowledge that exists in the universe, past and present accounted for, someone would have discovered a way to reach beyond answering questions of the mind, to those of the heart.

Random Miracles

It's interesting the way people find each other. As if similar personalities are drawn together almost without thought or effort for the event of collision.

Timing, timing is everything. How many things are needed to go right, or wrong, for even the smallest of relationships to form? Is there a plan that some greater being has meticulously drawn out and set in motion?

What are the chances that our meetings are the coincidences that come from many souls being thrown into the chaos...stumbling blindly until we somehow collide with the right person. The right time. The right place.

There are multitudes of people you meet in the span of a lifetime. Each person you meet, each relationship you form, affect you in a way that can never be reversed. The permanency of change is inevitable.

It is a miracle, that out of the multitude of people around us each day... we are able to come across the ones who's personalities are a compliment to our own.

The bonds we form are simple. But only on the outside.